A trip to the “Big Orange”- an excursion review
Ah, New York City. “The Big Orange” as I hear you humans call it. The city that never sleeps. A miniature Coruscant with skyscrapers and streams of endless vehicles passing by. A city where every possible cuisine is but a vine swing away, where every kind of music and entertainment plays daily, where coordinated pigeon heists lurk around every outdoor dining table. And home to perhaps one of our favorite retail stores we have ever come across: The Fantastic World of the Portuguese Sardine in the heart of Times Square.
Yes. It is exactly what you think it is. A store that sells nothing but cans of sardines. Rows and rows, whimsically designed, outrageously priced, and elegantly displayed in a colorful, semi-Victorian library setting complete with a miniature balcony and winding staircase.
Oh, the delight this store brought both myself and the girl was immeasurable. What a hilariously unique and extravagant shopping experience for a seemingly humble can of sardines. A single can, coming in at about $15, was quite steep in price and so we did not indulge, tempted though we were.
We did, however, yield to purchasing a 3 pack sampler of the pates (sardine, sardine with mustard, and codfish) as it was something entirely new to us and our curiosity positively demanded a verdict. The results: the sardine pates were tasty but nothing so astronomically sensational. BUT, we must report that the cod pate was a tiny jar of absolute deliciousness. Incredibly flavorful, it required no alteration nor accompaniment. Despite the high price of $14, we had no regrets and would buy it again. (In fact, I already have plans to purchase a few jars for the girl for Life Day. No spoilers for her, please!)
After such a store, how could any other compare in terms of theming and originality? Well, one other came close: the Harry Potter Shop located south of Times Square around 22nd Street.
For those who are not able to visit the theme park of Universal or might not enjoy the themed rides anyway, we’d consider this a respectable substitute for immersion into the wizarding world of Harry Potter. Two floors of themed decor, interactive elements such as a scavenger hunt and broomstick “flying”, and all the merchandise a witch or wizard could ever need. Choose your wand, choose your robes! Stock up on your Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans and your Chocolate Frogs! The staff stands at the ready to help you spend your extra Knuts and Galleons.
Another happy addition to this shop is the “Butterbeer Bar” where you can sample the iconic butterbeer from the series as well as many other themed treats like butterbeer ice cream, pumpkin juice, the Hedwig Cupcake, the Sorting Hat Cookie and the Happee Birthday Harry Cake. Tempted as we were to try a little bit of everything, we contented ourselves to just use our coupon for a free Butterbeer Soft Serve as we had already spent enough of our Imperial credits on other things. (For the records of the Jedi Archives, the soft serve was plain vanilla with a thin drizzle of what seemed like regular caramel sauce. We would not need a 2nd sampling).
All of this and more was within an easy walk of our accommodations, The Gallivant in Times Square, which we would certainly recommend. Make no mistake, anywhere in this vicinity is going to be costly. However, for its location, the prices were not unreasonable and we would be drawn to return simply for the pleasure of seeing some of the highly personable and welcoming staff once again. It may sound pompous to say but I was quite popular there and became somewhat of a celebrity amongst the staff and other guests.
Our brief excursion to Mini Coruscant certainly delivered variety and unique experiences. The girl and I delighted in exploring the very walkable city, engaging with passersby, and conducting an informal survey of as many tall buildings as possible to see how many omitted the “superstitious” 13th floor (more than we thought!). With so much to do, see, taste, and experience, it is impossible to do it all. But we tried very hard and put forth a very good effort!
We shall end it here for today and encourage you to go have an adventure! Carry on and May The Crumb Be With You!
P.S. I was just informed that you humans refer to New York City as the “Big Apple” rather than the “Big Orange”. Though I’m not sure what difference it really makes as I failed to see either fruit represented in our travels.
Written 8/6/26
The Adventures of The Crumb 